Therapy on a Thursday

I started this week with a plan, little jobs I needed to do and blog posts I had planned but that all went out the window because it's ended up being a hard week for me.  For someone who can't have children I'm not really in the best job (although there's definitely worse jobs), I regularly see women who are pregnant or happy couples coming in with their new borns for their vaccines and it's tough.  But most of the time I can handle it and just get on with it.  The thought that I won't have that experience does make me feel sad, but I have to push those thoughts to the back of my mind, and to be honest work is too busy to give me a chance  to think about things too much.  On Wednesday though I found it particular hard, a new mother came in with her 8 week old little girl and Grandad had joined them for a bit of moral support.  In one sense it was lovely seeing the three of them but it made me so sad and triggered a lot of emotions for me.  Obviously I didn't show how I was feeling, ever the professional but when they left the room, I had tears in my eyes and could of done with being all alone to have a good old cry.  It just pulled on my little old heart strings seeing the pride in the Grandad's face and the happiness that the little girl brought to her family.  I thought about how happy my parents would of been for us had things turned out differently, not just my parents but how happy we would of been.  I'm getting use to putting such feelings of sadness and if I'm honest jealously aside because if I didn't I think I'd go mad because life is full of these situations or moments like these, at work, with friends, on the Internet via social networks.  So I've had a few 'woe are me' days, which has been hard but I'm coming out the other end of it now and once again trying to focus on the positives.  I always believe you need to look at the positives as best you can.

I don't talk about these sad moments I have with anyone really (apart from Hubby), partly because when I'm sad if I spoke about  them, the tears would fall, and that is not something I want to happen at work and then when I get home, it just feels like what's the point, what can people say?  No words are really going to make me feel better, although it's always good when Hubby cheers me up.

So that's a of  bit therapy on a Thursday for me, I find it easier to write things down then say them out loud and it does help.  But now it's time to pick myself up again and gee myself up in time for the weekend. Thank crunchie it's Friday tomorrow (ooh crunchie, I haven't had when of those in ages).  It's my Mum's birthday on Saturday so we shall take her out and about for the day.

Thanks for listening, it helps.

Keep on smiling and in case you're not feeling too happy take a peek at these cats, made me smile, worth watching to the end.

http://youtu.be/8VhNQy