Goodbye 2012

Hey everybody, I hope you've all had a good start to the new year so far!  I've Had a crazy busy week already and not had a chance to do any of my planned posts yet so only 4 days into the new year and I'm behind schedule! Hmm, lets ignore that fact for now, I shall come back to it later.  so  to the first of my new year posts....

New year, this is the time we all look back at the year that's passed with nostalgia. Reminiscing over the good and bad moments and thinking about taking stock of our lives.  We start thinking about the resolutions we all enthusiastically make and rapidly find we break.  Do you agree?  Are you sad to say goodbye 2012 or happy to see the back of it?

For me I'm kind of glad to see the back of 2012, it's been a tough one.  But before I start harping on about that, first, foremost AND most importantly I am uber grateful for good health. I have now had 2 relapse free years behind me and I'm counting on clocking a few more years up too.  I can't even begin to tell you how good it feels that for the time being I am winning my personal fight with Multiple Sclerosis.  It's not always going to be as good as it is now but the longer  it stays this way the happier I'll be.  2012 saw several monetary disasters for us (2012? Make that 2009,10,11, ok you get the picture), they were mainly car related but once again we made it through as we always do and hopefully have learnt some lessons.  Don't you hate it when everything should be quite comfy but something puts a stick in the spokes, just to make sure you don't quite get there.  Shouldn't complain though, it's not like I go without.

Just after the clock struck midnight, the thing that crossed my mind was how differently I had hoped the year would end.  I can not deny I felt sad at that thought and shed a few tears.  In January 2012, the possibility we may have a child was still open to us.  However small a chance, the hope was still there.  I am a person that as long as there is even a smidgen of hope, I will cling to it.  It probably doesn't help that over the years, one way or another things have always ended up working out for us, but I did worry had our luck run out.  In the March I got my answers,  we were told that there was no chance Hubby and I would conceive a child.  It broke our hearts.  For those months we didn't know, I liked the feeling that we could possibly have a child,  I even got a tinsey bit hopeful when my period was slightly late.  Complete stupidity, because I knew there was very little chance I was going to be pregnant but I couldn't help but hope for a little miracle.  Well as I say in the March, I could no longer deceive myself, I knew for sure I would never be a mother.  With sadness came regrets, why didn't we try and sort things out sooner, would we of had a better chance of having a child? What good does that do though.   It is better to look to the future and how you can move on then focus on the past and what you can not change.  Most of the time, I can put it behind me and get on with it but every now and again something happens, which rubs salt into the wound.  For example, on Facebook I recently saw some pictures of someone I met through having MS.  We were both starting are treatment at similar times and often discussed the possibilities of starting families.  She had her own difficulties to contend with but in the end, unexpectedly she fell pregnant and is blessed with a beautiful little girl.  As wonderful it is for her, it's a very hard thing for me.  I would be lying if I said I didn't wish that was me as well.

Other then what I have already mentioned, 2012 was actually pretty good and lots of good came out it too.  I have made lots of lovely new friends through blogging and Twitter,  friendships that I really appreciate  I love blogging and I hope that my blog will grow and develop further. Hubby's job is going from strength to strength.  I am so happy for him because although I have had ups and downs in my career, ultimately I love being a nurse and especially love my present job.  I have always wanted Hubby to have the same, which he now does.  This is who he works for, check it out you might pick up some good advice on there about Bed bugs, http://www.trustk9.com/, eek|!

That's enough nostalgia for me today, it's time to look towards the oncoming year -

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